SIMPLICITY

LET THE COLD PEOPLE PLAY THEIR GAMES.

22/5/2012

So I’ve received a text from Zed and he went ” WOMAN PLEASE! I WANNA SEE MORE HAPPY STUFFS ON YOUR TUMBLR. AND REPLY MY TEXTS LA ASS.” The only person I knew so far who has been reading my tumblr faithfully besides Nuning,my parents and my bestfriend, Siti. I bet the number of people who are aware of this tumblr will be like what,less than 10? But it’s all good, minority is always the best. :)

Dear friends, please bear with my I-couldn’t-be-bothered-to-reply-texts attitude. I REALLY couldn’t be bothered with replying or wait, even opening the texts. I’m that worn out, I swear, I am. Gimme some time. And tonight, It’s going to be Coldplay. All out. I’m going to put their albums on repeat till I fall asleep. Well when you found song lyrics that just reflect the moment you have or had, it just feel like “Yes. This is what I’ve been wanting to say, to let out.”  I have the itch to write and to blabber about everything and anything that I came across with when I have other important things to do. I deserve a crown…………. Queen of procrastination.

-honneyss xxx

Posted 11 hours ago

Thoughts;

21/5/2012

Just a little bit of hope and faith,but no expectations,even though I’m gonna have a really hard time with trust issues now. I’ve been saying “I’ve given up”,but then again,do you think I really did? That sunken feeling I felt in my stomach when I’ve found out something??

I knew it,my instincts were right. But still,I was  holding on like as though I’ve fallen off a cliff,with one hand clinging onto the edge with an extremely heavy survival kit bag,on my other hand. I’d either let go of the bag and save myself or gather every strength I have to put the bag on a safe spot and then save myself. I wanted to do the latter. I wanted to save it first before I could save myself. But now, no, I don’t. It hurts that I’d rather let myself off the cliff together with my survival kit bag and just die when I’d do the opposite for the people I care.

Do you have any idea what I’m talking about? Because I don’t actually. LOL. This is the thing about writing down thoughts-that-just-came-by-without-knocking at 12.30am. You tend to see things differently which leads to overthinking which then leads to sleepless nights. But thanks for reading my crap anyway.

Goodnight

-honneyss xxx

Posted 1 day ago

16/5/2012; Conversation;

Zed: Would you still wanna be friend with someone who broke your trust, hurt you, some who have disappoint you deeply?

Me: I’ll distance myself from him/her and be a little bit more wary.There’s this term, once bitten twice shy. Friend? Maybe yes, maybe no. This is irrelevant Zed. It depends on situation actually. Whether feelings are involved or not.

Zed: Like what you’re currently facing right now, with……  Fine, I won’t mention his name *Laughs!* Okay, fair enough

Me: And then, why is it that some people just fit in nicely into our life? Like there are spaces engraved for them but some just, I don’t know, fail to fit in?

Zed: They are not meant to be in your life. As simple as that. Those spaces are meant for other people.

He has a point. The friend whom I could have random conversations with. Basically we became planless and decided to just take a long walk while getting ourselves indulged in a series of conversations and talked about everything. Everything that has been bothering us, everything that inspires us. The fact that we could pour out our emotions and thoughts on something that could be really sensitive to most which makes me really think&reflect. I kind of need to have some faith instilled in me. Maybe this kind of assurance is what helps to fit the puzzle. Furthermore, despite being someone who keeps almost everything to myself, I find it really easy to open up to Zed. And he’s definitely one of the few. Nonetheless, thank you my friend :)

- honneyss xxx

Posted 5 days ago

Days are getting better

15/5/2012

I’ve been drowning in thoughts nowadays, well what’s new? It’s not a completely negative thing but too much thinking can cause me to be exhausted. I’m already physically tired with all the activities that’s been going on for the past few weeks and mental exhaustion isn’t doing me any good. But still, with all these thoughts that I have in my head, I’ve realised why people say I’m naive.

I’m doing pretty well. Other than just building walls once again, I got my happy self back. Slowly but surely. Honestly, my days are getting better ;) And, yes, I’m exhausted so… I’m going to sleep. Have a good night and sleep tight sweethearts. <3

ps; As long as that anger, sadness, dissapointment feeling is still in me whenever I see your face, a cold shoulder is all you’re gonna get from me. I tried to push these negative feelings aside and be nice but I just can’t. But then, its not like you’d care or noticed, right?

-honneyss xxx

Posted 1 week ago